darkness

i feel the darkness hanging over me, like a shadow, slowly plunging my world deeper in to night,
even as i stand in the blinding light. Lost. Alone. Scared. I wonder onward ever onward trying to find the cure, this thing i need to save me, but the harder i look the more i am lost. Am i doom forever to wander in the darkness while all around me are in light. They see not my blight, offer no help, no way back to escape my night. This cold and lonely place where I find myself, even in a room full of people i am lost, i am alone, i am scared. scared of want will become of me, but more scared of what i may become, as the need to escape drives me ever forward but somehow always back, back to where I'm scared, where it's easier to hurt than be hurt to pray on the weak than be prayed on. I reach out to those around me grabbing and clawing for a hold, a grip on what is real but my hands find nothing there, then it's gone, was it all in my mind. The sights the sounds of happiness seem so far away as the shadows takes over me, consuming me in the dark dankness of my life willing me to sink in to the depth's as i fight. I've fought this losing battle for far to long, it saps my strength, my will to live but i go on trying to win this hopeless fight for now but for how long, how much more can i take of this loss. if only i can find something real something genuine that can guild me back to the safety of day to hold me to save me to love me. but nothing is real in this world of mine, all is fake offering as little as they can yet taking all you can give then letting go to watch you plunge down to the abyss, still time after time I try again hoping this time the hand will hold will pull me from this dread that has become my life.